Ahhh Finals Time....it's so close I can smell it...or is that my feet?
Bulldogs v Eels. ANZ Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
Bulldogs Coach, Kevin Moore has taken extraordinary steps to ensure his side will not fall victim to the epidemic of Hayneophobia that is sweeping the NRL. After watching Penrith do their own impersonation of an Apple Crumble last week, Moore has decided to find the scariest thing he could possibly think of and force his players to look at it for hours. That way, so the theory goes, his boys will not be afraid of anything and can continue their run to the Finals with a win over Jarryd and the Jarryds. I just hope Moore burns that naked photo of Julia Gillard when he's finished with it! Dogs by 6.
Dragons v Titans. WIN Jubilee Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
In the Spirit of Rivalry Round, these two Teams will play for a perpetual trophy, inspired by a unique bond between these two teams. We say the Dragons are deserved short priced favourites to win the inaugural 'Finals Fade Out Cup'. Sadly it'll be the only Trophy the Puffs win this year. Dragons by 20.
Raiders v Sharks. Canberra Stadium, Canberra. Saturday 5.30pm
Not many people are aware of the softer side of Josh Dugan, but we at Round Review HQ have decided that the time is right to lift the lid on the Raiders' very own marine wildlife warrior. A special documentary will be filmed at Canberra Stadium on Saturday night as the newly signed Raiders Superstar puts 17 sick Sharks out of their misery. Jacques Cousteau, eat your heart out! Raiders by 30.
Storm v Panthers. AAMI Park, Melbourne. Saturday, 7.30pm
Many wondered why the Deloitte report was a little later than expected in being released to the media, but our Round Review Ninjas got to the bottom of things, as always. Apparently those that were assigned to investigate the Storm's books were quite distracted, waiting for the tooth fairy, looking for flying pigs, unicorns, Santa Claus and other fanciful, mythical creatures...like innocent Storm players. Panthers by 40.
Cowboys v Knights. Dairy Farmers Stadium, Townsville. Saturday 7.30pm
These two Teams should each buy themselves a gate, as it's as close as either of them will come to defense. Cows in a close one 130-126.
Rabbitohs v Warriors. ANZ Stadium, Sydney. Sunday 2.00pm
Something tells us John Lang will be left ruing his choice of motivation for his Team during the week. Lang thought it would be a good idea for his Team to take in Paul Briggs' comeback to the ring as inspiration to get a win against the Wannabe Aussies. Me thinks the Bunnies might take the message a little too literally, and this one will be over in 29 seconds. Warriors by plenty.
Sea Eagles v Tigers. Bluetongue Stadium, Gosford. Sunday 3.00pm
In World News, a Southern Right Whale almost wrecked a Couple's boat off the coast of South Africa after frolicking a little too close http://tinyurl.com/23b2rne. Thankfully the terrified crew escaped with only a broken mast. In Local News, George Rose is in doubt for this game after injuring his back on the mast of a boat off the coast of South Africa. Tigers by 30.
Broncos v Roosters. Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane. Monday 7.00pm
Just when you thought Master Chef was almost over, a special twist awaits fans of the top rating cooking show. In a special Episode on Monday Night, Darren Lockyer will be a shock, last minute contestant. His opponents will no doubt try and conjure up some culinary master piece, but none of them will come close to Darren's 17 cooked Roosters. Broncos by 12.
Good Luck to All, and Go the Tigers!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The Round Review Week 18
We're heading into the business end of the season, so it's only fair The Round Review heats up as well!
Tigers v Titans. Campbelltown Stadium, Campbelltown. Friday 7.35pm
Much has been said about 'Paul' the Psychic Octopus who has famously been picking FIFA World Cup winners, but most people don't know that Paul's first love is actually Rugby League. After the cameras stopped rolling once Paul spelled Germany's demise vs Spain, Round Review Ninjas conducted a special Paul-Poll for this match. Let's just say, he's keeping his 100% Tipping Record. Tigers by 40...Paul said so!
Roosters v Rabbitohs. Sydney Football Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
Souths prop, Dave Taylor has helped out a struggling independant film maker after agreeing to star in new big screen production to hit cinemas late this year. Apparently Taylor has agreed to play a lead role in a revamped version of Frankenstein, and the producers of 'Shoestring Studios' are over the moon. The cash strapped movie makers will not only save on casting costs with Taylor signing on for free, but using Taylor as Frankenstein's monster will save them on make up and a costume! Taylor will get some good practise for the role in this one, he'll be terrorising the Chooks! Rabbits by 12.
Sea Eagles v Raiders. Brookvale Oval, Manly. Saturday 5.30pm
After not coming to terms with the Eagles after months of contract talks, Manly centre, Steve Matai is the latest NRL star to switch codes. It will be kept under wraps until the end of the season, but Round Review sources tell us that Matai will sign a lucrative deal with the Auckland Sheep soccer franchise. Apparently, after seeing all the diving and injury feigning going on in the World Cup, Matai thought he would be a star at soccer, as he is clearly FAR better at faking injury. He won't need to fake anything in this one, he'll be hurting when the Raiders win by 20.
Bulldogs v Storm. Adelaide Oval, Adelaide. Saturday 7.00pm
Scientists are overjoyed and have celebrated by splurging on new pocket protectors after discovering a new insect in the Belmore area. This rare, aggressive form of lawn grub is often found at ANZ Stadium, but Adelaide Oval groundskeepers are taking no chances in their quest to keep the pristine old ground in top shape. Let's hope their efforts pay off, as things could get rather unsavoury if the new Michaelora Ennisopedea Grub takes hold. Storm by 8.
Knights v Sharks. Energy Australia Stadium, Newcastle. Sunday 2.00pm
After witnessing Kurt Gidley play well for NSW, God has decided that Bermuda is no longer the most suitable place for weird happenings and unexplained occurrences to take place, and has moved every Bermudans favourite shape, the triangle, to Newcastle. Fitting then, that Cronulla should win this game. Sharks by 12.
Panthers v Warriors. CUA Stadium, Penrith. Sunday 3.00pm
In an effort to give the Warriors a chance of winning something in Penrith, NRL boffins have decided to have fans of both Teams face off in a drinking challenge. The only rule is whoever gets drunk and falls over after consuming their fill of each Club's drink of choice will be out, and the Club with the last Man (or Woman) standing wins. Whilst the Women of Penrith will no doubt fancy their chances of taking this one out, being well conditioned to consuming copious amounts of Woodstock Bourbon, we say that it's the Kiwi's who will take this one, as no one ever gets drunk on Lion Red! Warriors by 10...cases.
Eels v Cowboys. Parramatta Stadium, Parramatta. Monday 7.00pm
State Rail would like to make a special announcement. The Hayne Train has been delayed long term and will now not arrive until 2011. Anyone waiting at Parramatta for The Hayne Train to arrive should seek alternative modes of transport, but forget about using the Meteo scooter, the Burt Caboose, the Inu Express and the Moi Moi Mini Bus Bus, all of these are broken down also. Brokebacks by 6.
Good Luck to All, and Go the Tigers!
Tigers v Titans. Campbelltown Stadium, Campbelltown. Friday 7.35pm
Much has been said about 'Paul' the Psychic Octopus who has famously been picking FIFA World Cup winners, but most people don't know that Paul's first love is actually Rugby League. After the cameras stopped rolling once Paul spelled Germany's demise vs Spain, Round Review Ninjas conducted a special Paul-Poll for this match. Let's just say, he's keeping his 100% Tipping Record. Tigers by 40...Paul said so!
Roosters v Rabbitohs. Sydney Football Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
Souths prop, Dave Taylor has helped out a struggling independant film maker after agreeing to star in new big screen production to hit cinemas late this year. Apparently Taylor has agreed to play a lead role in a revamped version of Frankenstein, and the producers of 'Shoestring Studios' are over the moon. The cash strapped movie makers will not only save on casting costs with Taylor signing on for free, but using Taylor as Frankenstein's monster will save them on make up and a costume! Taylor will get some good practise for the role in this one, he'll be terrorising the Chooks! Rabbits by 12.
Sea Eagles v Raiders. Brookvale Oval, Manly. Saturday 5.30pm
After not coming to terms with the Eagles after months of contract talks, Manly centre, Steve Matai is the latest NRL star to switch codes. It will be kept under wraps until the end of the season, but Round Review sources tell us that Matai will sign a lucrative deal with the Auckland Sheep soccer franchise. Apparently, after seeing all the diving and injury feigning going on in the World Cup, Matai thought he would be a star at soccer, as he is clearly FAR better at faking injury. He won't need to fake anything in this one, he'll be hurting when the Raiders win by 20.
Bulldogs v Storm. Adelaide Oval, Adelaide. Saturday 7.00pm
Scientists are overjoyed and have celebrated by splurging on new pocket protectors after discovering a new insect in the Belmore area. This rare, aggressive form of lawn grub is often found at ANZ Stadium, but Adelaide Oval groundskeepers are taking no chances in their quest to keep the pristine old ground in top shape. Let's hope their efforts pay off, as things could get rather unsavoury if the new Michaelora Ennisopedea Grub takes hold. Storm by 8.
Knights v Sharks. Energy Australia Stadium, Newcastle. Sunday 2.00pm
After witnessing Kurt Gidley play well for NSW, God has decided that Bermuda is no longer the most suitable place for weird happenings and unexplained occurrences to take place, and has moved every Bermudans favourite shape, the triangle, to Newcastle. Fitting then, that Cronulla should win this game. Sharks by 12.
Panthers v Warriors. CUA Stadium, Penrith. Sunday 3.00pm
In an effort to give the Warriors a chance of winning something in Penrith, NRL boffins have decided to have fans of both Teams face off in a drinking challenge. The only rule is whoever gets drunk and falls over after consuming their fill of each Club's drink of choice will be out, and the Club with the last Man (or Woman) standing wins. Whilst the Women of Penrith will no doubt fancy their chances of taking this one out, being well conditioned to consuming copious amounts of Woodstock Bourbon, we say that it's the Kiwi's who will take this one, as no one ever gets drunk on Lion Red! Warriors by 10...cases.
Eels v Cowboys. Parramatta Stadium, Parramatta. Monday 7.00pm
State Rail would like to make a special announcement. The Hayne Train has been delayed long term and will now not arrive until 2011. Anyone waiting at Parramatta for The Hayne Train to arrive should seek alternative modes of transport, but forget about using the Meteo scooter, the Burt Caboose, the Inu Express and the Moi Moi Mini Bus Bus, all of these are broken down also. Brokebacks by 6.
Good Luck to All, and Go the Tigers!
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